Don't Say Goodbye
by Gemmakins
Summary: Quick re-write on one part. Taking place in the episode of Endings and Beginnings. Sue has to think about what she needs to do, go to New York or stay in DC. It is a song fic with thoughts from Sue, about her and Jack


This is a song fic for "Endings and Beginnings", it is my first fan fic, and I have had this idea floating around in my mind for a while of what thoughts could go with the song, so I really, really hope that it is okay. I hope you all enjoy it, if not, please tell me why, and then I could improve my further writing, or just quit all together if it is that bad. =)

I didn't want to make it too short, or too long, so I hope this is about the right length.

I do not own any of the characters or the show, or any reference I have made to any of the episodes.

Song: Goodbye by Miley Cyrus – I do not own this song.

This takes part just after Sue has left Church, after meeting with Deanne.

** GLK **

Sue left the Church and started to walk slowly back to her apartment, taking a slight detour to her favourite park on the way. She needed to clear her head and think seriously about what she wanted from her life, and at what cost. She knew the only person she should be thinking of was herself, but life didn't work like that, and there were other people to consider in the equation, she knew everyone was so happy for her, even Miles, for getting offered the promotion, but she also knew they would be sad to see her go and that she would be missed.

She took in what Deanne had talked to her about in the Church. Sue had also been blessed with some good friends, and she knew that she would miss them terribly when she moved to New York; especially one of them whom she held closest to her heart. She would still be able to talk to them on the phone, or in an email, or even come and visit, but it wouldn't be the same.

She walked over to a bench and sat down, the snow had finally stopped falling from the sky and the clouds had parted to show a blanket of bright stars peeking their way through, Sue noticed that the stars seemed to shine brighter tonight. She thought back to the Church and smiled at the memory of talking to Deanne.

When Sue had stumbled across the Church earlier, she had hoped God would have given her the answer that she so desperately needed and that is why something was telling her to go into that Church. When she saw Deanne sat in one of the pews with her helper dog Katie, she couldn't help but think fate must have brought them together for this meeting. Even though they had only talked for a few moments, Deanne had helped Sue edge towards the answer that she needed, and she didn't even realise it at the time.

She took a deep breath as she looked down at Levi, she scratched his ears and he leaned his head upon her trousers, looking up at her with his big sad eyes.

'I know Levi, it is a hard decision to make, and it affects everyone, not just me. I wish someone could tell me what to do for the best.'

Levi groaned and Sue smiled softly at her loyal companion. She chewed on her bottom lip and sighed, she needed to make a decision tonight, and it had to be her final decision, she wouldn't be able to change her mind after.

Sue stood up and looked at Levi. 'Come on Levi.'

Before Sue knew it, her feet had carried her to a familiar location which was not her neighbourhood. She was looking up at an apartment, but it was not her own. Standing in front of the familiar apartment building, she looked up at his window and noticed the light was on, she wondered what he was doing, and whether or not she should knock on his door and ask to talk. She threw the idea around in her head for a few moments but she knew Jack would never tell her what to do, and she knew he would tell her that whatever she decided, he would stand by her choice.

She thought back to when she had told the team that she had been offered a promotion in the New York office, and her heart skipped a beat when she thought of how sad Jack looked.

She sighed as her feet would not move towards the entrance door, she knew deep down that the courage was not there to knock on the door, as she was afraid of what she might say. Not that it would be anything bad, but she did not want to make a fool of herself in front of Jack. Another day would not hurt for her feelings to be kept under wraps, she had done it for the past three years, so what was another day.

As she walked away from his apartment she tried to figure out the positives of moving to New York, and taking the new job. There were only two that she could think of, the first was the excellent job opportunity that would arise and the second was her and Jack would be able to date openly.

"_I can honestly say you've been on my mind, _

_Since I woke up today, up today,_

_I look at your photograph all the time,_

_These memories come back to life,_

_And I don't mind!"_

She smiled at the memory of her and Jack's undercover assignment, and the fun that they had, had playing the newlyweds Mister and Mrs Hudson. They seemed to have slipped into the roles perfectly and at times she did feel like they were a couple. Sue felt sad when it all had to come to an end, not only because it was the end of her first undercover assignment, but because it was the end of Mister and Mrs Hudson. They had taken their time packing up their belongings, and they had reminisced over their week undercover, but neither let onto their true feelings on the matter.

When they had been outside the house, after sorting out the last items, Sue had tried to express her feelings on the assignment, but to no much avail as she stumbled through her words, not making complete sense. She remembered telling him that it felt like she and Jack were breaking up, and she had wondered if Jack had felt the same way she had. He replied,

"To be any good at undercover work, you have to become that person, you have to convince yourself that in this moment and time this is really your life.'

She had wondered if he had convinced himself that he was her husband whist they were undercover, and perhaps when he told her that she was right about him wanting to live in a place like that, with a wife, kids and a dog, she had hoped that deep down, she would be the wife, they would have children and Levi would be the dog.

Thoughts then went to the bullpen, and their 'wedding reception' which they had not had right after the wedding. She thought about the wedding album she was given by the team of wedding photos that the team had made up of Jack and Sue. She still had the album, not that anyone knew that, it was hidden under her bed, in a memory box, and from time to time she would get it out and flick through the pages, remembering the fun times of being Mrs Hudson and enjoying the memories that played back in her mind.

"_I remember when we kissed,_

_I still feel it on my lips,_

_The time that you danced with me,_

_With no music playing,_

_I remember those simple things,_

_I remember 'til I cry,_

_But the one thing I'd forget,_

_The memory I wanna forget,_

_Is Goodbye,"_

Sue knew the distance would do her and Jack some good, the no dating rule would not apply as they would be working in different offices so that would be one very big bonus, although she didn't know if Jack would want to start a relationship with her, yes they were close but they never actually acted upon any of their feelings, except when they went undercover on the Callahan and Merced case.

When Jack pulled Sue into the kiss, it was unexpected but she fell into it, letting her feelings towards him flow through into their embrace making it feel more real than a cover. It was not just any old kiss to try and fool Ms Clark; Sue defiantly felt passion and tenderness and it felt so right.

It was obvious they both felt awkward afterwards as they both tried to stumble through their explanation to each other when they walked to Sue's car. But their embarrassment went to a whole new level when Bobby, Tara and Lucy found out, and joked about it. Even though Jack and Sue had talked about the kiss, Sue knew she wanted to say more, she wanted to tell him how much she had liked the moment they had shared, but he left her at her doorstep before she had the chance to say anything.

She placed two fingers on her lips and smiled, closing her eyes she remembered the feeling of his lips pressed against hers, they were soft yet powerful, and she would love to have the feel of Jack's lips against hers again.

"_I woke up this morning and played our song,_

_And through my tears I sang along,_

_I picked up the phone and then put it down,_

'_Cause I know I'm wasting my time,_

_And I don't mind,_

_I remember when we kissed,_

_I still feel it on my lips,_

_The time that you danced with me,_

_With no music playing,_

_I remember the simple things,_

_I remember 'til I cry,_

_But the one thing I'd wish I'd forget,_

_The memory I wanna forget,"_

Sue got to her empty apartment and went straight for her bedroom after feeding Levi. Lucy was out that evening on a date, and she wouldn't be back until later, which was good as Sue needed time on her own to think. So many thoughts had been rushing through her head, and mainly all of the thoughts had been of her and Jack. She took out a scrapbook from underneath her bed and opened it, turning to the page of photos from the charity Bachelor Auction.

She smiled as she saw a picture of her and Jack dancing together. She remembered how wonderful it felt to dance close to Jack and to share that special song with him, even though she could not hear it. She loved the feeling of his hand on her back, holding her closely to him, and the feeling of not wanting to let her go. If she could, she would have stayed like that forever, held in his grasp, feeling protected and loved. It felt like they were the only two in the room, and when the song had finished, they didn't want to part, but they knew that it had to come to an end.

She looked at the glint of sparkle in Jack's brown eyes and she smiled, he looked so happy and so did she, they looked perfect for each other, so why had neither one made a move, if they felt this way about each other and Jack loved Sue, like she loved Jack then she was sure something could be worked out.

"_Suddenly my cell phone's blowing up,_

_With your ringtone,_

_I hesitate but answer it anyway,_

_You sound so alone,_

_And I'm surprised to hear you say,_

_You remember when we kissed,_

_You still feel it on your lips,_

_The time that you danced with me,_

_With no music playing,_

_You remember the simple things,_

_We talked 'til we cried,_

_You said that your biggest regret,_

_The one thing you wish I'd forget,_

_Is saying goodbye, _

_Saying goodbye,_

_Goodbye,"_

Sue's Blackberry vibrated and Sue took it from her pocket and looked at the screen. Jack's name flashed in front of her eyes, she smiled and then felt nervous to answer the call.

'Hello Jack.'

'Hiya Sue, how are you?'

'Fine thanks, you?'

'I'm okay...' There was a pause as Sue waited for words to appear on the screen. 'I don't know why I am calling you; I just wanted to see how you were.' Jack stumbled through his words, not knowing what to say to her.

'I am fine; I am just looking back at some memories.' Sue said with a smile.

'I have been thinking about some memories too.' Jack paused. 'We have had some good times haven't we, and I sure will miss them.'

Sue still hadn't made up her mind whether she was going to leave or not. Perhaps this was the sign she needed to make her mind up.

She knew she wanted to stay so she could be close to her friends, who were more like a family to her, and she would also be close to the love of her life, Jack. But if she were to go to New York, she would miss her friends terribly, and she would miss seeing Jack every day.

'Sue are you still there?' Jack's words came up on the screen.

Sue realised she had not answered Jack and blushed, hoping that he did not think she was ignoring what he had said. 'Sorry Jack, I am still here. We have had some good times, some very good times even.' Sue said, blushing even further thinking about the kiss again.

Jack wanted to say there and then how he felt, but he knew that he would have to say it to her face and not over the phone; he wanted her to see the expression in his face, so she could sense how he felt. Words on a screen held no feelings, it was just plain text.

'I am going to miss the whole team.' Sue chewed on her lower lip, waiting for his response.

'I... we will miss you too.' Jack stuttered.

Sue felt awkward and was glad when Levi bounded off the bed and rushed out of the bedroom, Sue watched him go and realised Lucy must have come home, just in the nick of time.

'Jack, I'm sorry I will have to go, Lucy has just come home.'

'Oh... okay, well... I will see you in the morning.' Jack was glad Sue could not hear the instability in his voice.

'See you.'

Sue ended the call and then looked back at the picture of her and Jack dancing, she smiled, she had made up her mind and she knew it was the best choice for everyone.

She closed the book and walked out of her bedroom and smiled at Lucy.

'Hey Luce, did you have a nice date?' Sue asked.

Lucy turned and looked at Sue with a smile. 'Yes it was good, but I couldn't take my mind off you leaving.'

'Well, I have something to tell you.' Sue said with a smile. 'And I think you will be pleased.'

Lucy looked at Sue and rushed over to her, excited at the news she was about to hear.

'I have decided that I am going to stay here and not take the job in New York.'

Lucy screeched and hugged her best friend. 'I am so glad you are staying but this is such a great opportunity for you, are you sure you have thought this through?'

'I know it is, but I would be losing too much if I left, my life is here and my family is here, jobs come and go.' Sue explained briefly.

'I will make the hot chocolates and you can tell me all about what changed your mind.' Lucy said raising her eye brows.

Sue smiled and shook her head, she knew she had made the right decision, and she felt happier than ever before.

**The End**

**GLK**


End file.
